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Love Types
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Types of Love
A try to differentiate between the true love and erotica in the context of Indian social system and culture

This article is a try to differentiate between the true love, and lust (erotica). Author with the help of famous theory of love given by C. S. Lewis intend to fit it in Indian community context.

1) Eros love - known as "erotic love":

It is based on strong feelings toward another. It usually occurs in the first stages of a man-woman "romantic" relationship.

All kind of use and throw loves, love for social show-off, love for gaining a targeted social status among friends and circle or other similar benefits and intentions come under this category. The intender try to act innocent and honest until it achieves the targeted intention. If intentions are achieved peacefully then fine else ill intender tries to achieve it forcefully, enforcement and cheating.

The index of this love is directly proportional to your level of education, awareness and access to social and legal system.

It is also important to mention here that there are two types of rape cases, one like the recent incident happened in Delhi with Damini (16/12/12) and second which were met with both’ consent but due to social threats or revealing by third person usually seen converted into a try of rape or even rape. Former example doesn’t fall under this category it is a blunt crime category but later case shows the filthy, cunning and baseless face of Eros love.

2) Philos love - a love based on friendship between two people:

Usually it is found between two like-minded but socially different/distant people and/or geographically distant people. But one has to be aware of its other side too that this kind of love shown by your relatives and family friends, (which is claimed as “Open Mindedness” by highly optimistic and complex people) is propagated to gain financial and career oriented benefits. Sometimes it is seen as a symbol of being socially forward then rest of the world. This kind of relation is also started to take personal or family revenges too. Because such open mindedness is hardly required if one follows principle of Storge –Affection love; mentioned below in fourth category.

So this type of love is like two sides of coin as explained above. One may say that even culturally different people can also use you; yes! they can but references, influences and consents used by you in entering relation of friendship with either of cases is totally different. In former type its all your intellect and personal likes and dislikes with that person where as in later your background and belongingness play big roles under the emotions of which sometimes we find ourselves used and dumped by others.

3) Agape (charity) - Unconditional love:

The highest type of love is "agape", or unconditional love. It is mostly seen in cases of either equally dedicated people, pair or one-sided love stories. This is the category where is no loss, it’s only either give and take or only give and give no demand in return. Relations met under this love are either reached to marriages or ended with no loss.

Lovers of this category are often called as “Sachche Raanjhe”, “Kamli Heer”, “Pakka Majnu” and “Diwani Laila”. Thees persons are the adjectives of unconditional love because they represented a true love void of any Eros or Philos love.

4) Storge- Affection:

Love of family members, married couples and siblings. If one individual or family is perfect on this definition, they don’t need to be proclaimed as “Open Minded” in society. They don’t need any show off. In fact show-off and proclamation in self are alternatives to fill the gap of something or to cover the bad intentions. So stronger the affection, stronger will be the relation, the society.

That is why it is very important to include these kind of studies in our education system so that before entering in any of first three types of love relations mentioned above (because fourth is by inherent, one only can strengthen it but can’t get rid of) our youth can better analyze and visualize the intention of counterpart.


One of friend asked: “I want to discuss with you that in our society there is love of compulsion. You have a family and by and large you love it due to your values and you want to limit yourself within your values. It is just the life which our elders have lived and by across we are following it, which is universal type of love. You love your wife despite of fact that you have nothing common ideawise. You love your parents because they have sacrificed a lot of for you and; you love your children because this is your right. You love your society members because you can't live without them and so on. How you will describe?”

I replied: See first of all where compulsion enters in a relation love is gone the very next momenet, so there is merely any kind of love found in that situation. Now how compulsion dominates a relation over love, we need to first study the factors which make one feel so.

This kind of compulsion can occur due to family unrest, communication gap, lack of time and attention to devote for care and feelings of other family members and/or being within own cubic life.

Which if could be treated and removed from a family or relation, your love life can be brought back to track.

It can be understood with example of boss-employee relation. In a boss-employee relation, sometimes it becomes frustrating in continuing with boss and vice-versa, which can be further due to misunderstanding, improper tuning, both side hidden agendas and communication gap of course. But even then you try to continue or ladder on because you are bound with the needs of continuous career growth, financial stability in life and social apparatus. And these kinds of reasons drive you to sit with boss and settle down all misunderstandings and you are back on your relation of healthy working environment and joyous discussions.

Similar way family is bound with gradients like genetic relations, emotional attachments and one' need to live in groups which keep you bound with family during tough times but if it is not treated on time, it may lead to big losses like diversification of family members, relation broke-ups like divorce and separation.

Jai Dada Nagar Kheda Bada Bir

Compilation: P. K. Malik

Publisher: NHReL

Dated: 01/01/2013

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